Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Disconcerting thought of the day



Our kid might be born before our next container of coffee cream expires.

Yes. I plotz when I see mid-June "Best Before" dates on coffee cream. I don't really want to know how that stuff lasts two months after purchase.

In less disconcerting news, I am no longer concurrently pregnant with Katie Holmes. Now if Angelina would be so kind as to get on with it. The thought of her and me, separated by oceans and continents and whatnot but pushing at the same time, makes me choke.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Trying to keep it simple.


I'm suffering from Baby Product Review Overload. If only I could quit. My sister in law has loaned me a fabulous book, Baby Bargains, which I recommend to anyone who needs the straight goods in a hurry. That said, I am never content with the straight goods from a single source - I am guilty of constant cross-referencing on Epinions (which keeps making my computer crash) and Amazon. Too often the reviews are contradictory enough to make me want to tell this whole pregnancy and birth idea to go bugger itself.

But noooo. I, Little Miss Indecisive, must make all the right decisions or I will not sleep. The thing is, what works brilliantly for one person will suck copious numbers of eggs for the next. And what ends up working for me might be useless to anyone who would ask my advice in the future. There are just too many choices, and any number of right answers. Right now I am in Sling Hell. I think there's nothing for it but a trip to a store that has a a few kinds, and try 'em on.

Balls.

Hey Kid: about this kicking thing. Is that all you're doing, or are you throwing in a little pinching and biting for laughs?

Monday, April 10, 2006

Asparagus joy, and my itchy black thumb.


It's spring. That means that the asparagus is marching northward. First we get skinny Chilean asparagus, then slightly plumper Mexican 'gus, and, eventually, gorgeous Ontarian stuff, whereupon I go all silly with springy recipes. Not that I can cook worth a shot; don't ever let my obsession with food lead you to believe that I know what to do with it.

I also look forward to getting my hands dirty and planting things on the balcony in May. I've had the best winter in ages for keeping house plants alive, thanks to the miracle of remembering to water! But I still can't keep a jade plant alive. A jade plant, people - the Great Unkillable Plant. There is one going tits-up quite unceremoniously in our bathroom, despite my best attempts to offer it the perfect balance between love and neglect that I thought it would thrive upon. Bugger.

I often think I should have been a botanist, but then I think I would just feel twice as bad when I killed unkillable plants.