Saturday, July 22, 2006

Too much?

I think I did too much in the first few weeks after our baby was born. Two family gatherings, plus as many visits to us in two weeks as we usually have in a year, multiple meetings of our choir's search committee to find us a new director, and my father's medical appointments. Now, despite being stronger and more capable, I'm gun-shy, and nervous about every little thing. I think I need to make up for lost hermit time and take it easy, and say "no" just a little more.

Cooking dinner is a juggling act. I might get a pot of water on the stove before the baby awakes and fusses, but then it boils and boils before I can reach it again because we're nursing.

I can melt butter in the pan, or heat oil, but must take the pan off the stove because the baby will stir in the next room, and there won't be time to get the minced garlic in and out before it burns unless I'm prepared to let the baby scream for a bit. I'm not. B. can soothe the baby to a point, but not if the baby thinks it's time to nurse. He's also too busy with his course to cook every night, so I still do a fair bit of it.

So meals are completed in tiny steps, and are not perfect. I'm anxious as B. and I plan the week's meals, because I'm envisioning hopping around frantically, trying not to scald myself or let the baby scream.

I shouldn't be so anxious. This is a brief, precious time in our lives, and the inconvenience of it shouldn't worry me. And it wouldn't if I had been able to sit tight just a little more for those first few weeks.


Blogger Kathleen said...

Wow. Your list of things that you did in the first few weeks sounds...well, superhuman, actually. :) Good on you for deciding to say no more often. (You'll have to say it a lot as Iain gets older so you might as well get good practice in now with others. ;) )

It's all about the juggling. You'll find your own balance (I've found that does indeed involve saying no). Honestly, it sounds like you're doing unbelievably well. I can't imagine having had to cook at the same time as everything else. Yikes. I bow at your feet.

July 23, 2006 8:10 a.m.  

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